Comic Review – Punisher: Frank Castle #75, The Walking Dead #66 and Gravel #14

So. Apparently, this is the end of Punisher Max, or Punisher: Frank Castle, or Punisher: vol. 23 or whatever it is Marvel is calling this comic these days. On Garth Ennis’ run, I think it was Punisher Max, but they decided to add the “Frank Castle” on the title for no good reason. And apparently, the new “Punisher” title will be reset to issue one and will be called…

“Punisher Max.”

I quit this shit.

Anyway. Issue 75. Five writers, five artists, five stories, acceptable results. None of the stories are great — some are good, some are overly sappy. Let’s go one by one:

The first story, “Dolls”, is written by Tom Piccirilli with art by Laurence Campbell and colors by Lee Loughridge. The premise is interesting — Frank Castle is interrupted when he’s about to execute someone with a sniper rifle. The interruption consists of a little girl who got lost in the streets and needs help finding her father. Castle decides to help her before carrying out the execution, to avoid doing it in front of her.

Not that that would have been a real obstacle. He could have simply asked her to close her eyes. Then he’d kill the bastard with the silenced rifle and help her. Instead, he decides to do it after finding her dad — and upon doing this, he uses his shoulder as a support for the rifle and kills the bastard anyway. Which kind of invalidates the whole point of the story, which, nevertheless, has some good moments — like a poignant flashback shot of a doll fallen on grass. Still, in a certain moment of the story, Castle says, “All little girls should have wonderful birthday parties.”

Let’s put it this way:

“All little girls should have wonderful birthday parties” – Frank Castle, aka The Punisher.

Doesn’t really work, does it?

Still, Laurence Campbell’s art is vastly superior to his previous efforts (Punisher #61 – #65, a horrendous arc written by Gregg Hurwitz), and has some memorable panels and very good coloring by Lee Loughridge, so visually, at least, the story works well.

The second story, “Gateway”, is written by Gregg Hurwitz, with art entirely by Das Pastoras. Surprisingly — considering Hurwitz is responsible for the worst arc in this series — the story is very well balanced. It deals with a “middleman” who believes himself to be nothing but a tool, despite knowing perfectly well he’s helping known criminals comission hits. I especially like the one-way conversation between Frank and a friend, with Frank lying on a hospital bed. It gets the point across without being melodramatic.

Das Pastoras’ art has several highlights, but his art is far too colorful, almost appropriate for a children’s book. That, and some panels are plain mediocre (like the last one, which has a very badly drawn Punisher). Still, all in all, his art is pleasing to the eye.

The third story, “Ghoul”, is by Duane Swierczinsky, with art by Tomm Coker and colors by Dan Freedman. The idea is excellent — a man has gotten hold of the Castle family’s possessions on the day they were attacked during the picnic which Frank was the only survivor of. This same man is selling this stuff online for outrageous prices — until Castle finds out and decides to do something about it. But unlike the first story, “Dolls” — which is a good idea badly-executed — Swierczinsky develops the plot very well, his only moment of weakness being the scene the man says “Oh, God” and Castle replies with a cliche, “It’s not God”. Despite this brief flaw, the story is good and Tomm Coker’s heavily shadowed art, darkly-colored by Dan Freedman, is very suitable and aesthetically efficient.

The fourth story, “Father’s Day”, is by Peter Milligan with art by Goran Parlov and colors by Lee Loughridge. It’s basically the highlights of Garth Ennis’ run, with a caption reading a letter from Castle’s daughter, Lisa, to him. This could have worked very well if it wasn’t for the letter — which is not convincing as the work of a little girl. In some moments, she displays childish writing, in others she uses metaphors (her references to what’s “in the dark”). Also, Milligan tries too hard to touch the reader’s heart strings — something the last page, in my case, accomplished, but this is because of Goran Parlov’s art.

Goran Parlov is one of this series’ best artists, a genius regarding visual storytelling and facial expressions. In the last page of this story, he and Lee Loughridge simply own. Castle is riddled by bullets, badly-injured and near-death, but his face, instead of expressing despair or pain, shows simply disillusionment — like Castle is slowly realizing that a long, normal life with his family was, after all, simply too good to be true. That is a beautiful page, and while it’s mostly Parlov, Milligan deserves credit too, even though the rest of the story is weak (except, of course, for Parlov and Loughridge’s beautiful art).

And finally, there’s “Smallest Bit Of This”, by Charlie Huston, with art by Ken Lashley, inks by Rob Stull and colors by Edgar Delgado. Utter waste of time. Huston simply shows Castle fighting a guy after a long firefight, adding some pseudo-meaningful captions. Ken Lashley’s art is terrible (the only example of bad art in this issue), so there isn’t much Stull and Delgado can do. The only truly bad story in this issue.

Also — I know it’s a sneak peek, but I have to comment on the Punisher Max #1 preview — Steve Dillon’s art is beautiful as always, and it’s wonderful to see it colored by the excellent Matt Hollingsworth — not only because he’s a brilliant colorist, but because it brings me warm memories of “Preacher” (my all-time favorite comic and blah blah blah you know the drill by now).

What bothered me here is that writer Jason Aaron is apparently going for a Max version of the Kingpin. I’ll save my final thoughts for the complete story, obviously, but so far? Pathetic. I hate this shortcut: using established characters and changing them to adequate the mood of your story, instead of creating your own character. And the idea behind Aaron’s plot (the creation of a fake target for the Punisher) would have been good enough to work without the Kingpin. But hey… too early to judge.

“Punisher: Frank blah-blah-whatever #75″ has its ups and downs, but on average, it’s worth a read. The art is more consistent than the writing, but the writing itself, except for Huston, is not bad — at most, it’s flawed, and at best, it’s fine. The whole thing is very efficiently lettered by the competent Cory Petit — especially the caligraphy used in Lisa’s letter, on “Father’s Day”, which looks handmade but is still very readable.

(an extra note — each story’s individual credits should have included the colorist, and it’s ridiculous their work has been neglected despite being vital for the visual of the stories. In order to see who colored each one, you have to go back to the first page and check the credits — and meanwhile, the writer and the artist are credited in each story)

“The Walking Dead #66″ wraps up this arc quite well, despite one recurring problem in Kirkman’s writing — overusing splash pages. In this case, double page spreads, one of them used simply to show Rick giving an order. And in that same panel, Adlard decides to go Eduardo Risso on us and signs the panel, something I always found ruins the immersion.

Despite the exaggeration, though, the story is well-written. It wasn’t exactly clear what they do to the villain, though — apparently they torture him, which is inconsistent with Rick saying they did not like doing that. If they didn’t, they could have just shot him dead. The rest of the plot has several good moments, however — I especially like how Kirkman inverted expectations regarding the conversation between Dale and Rick. I really don’t have much else to say, though — “The Walking Dead” remains on the same writing standard of the last issues. As I’ve already stated, this series is lacking impact, and this issue has not changed my opinion. The way Kirkman uses double-page spreads twice just on this episode hints at the possibility of him being aware of this, but trying to solve it the wrong way — trying to force impact on something that isn’t that impactful.

Despite signing his artwork twice in this issue (I don’t like when Risso does it either), Charlie Adlard’s art is beautiful as always. He’s especially successful at shadowing, and even though the double page spreads are unnecessary, Adlard renders them amazingly well. Cliff Rathburn’s grey tones add visual depth to Adlard’s work, but I wonder how well his art would stand on pure black-and-white. However, letterer Rus Wooton has ups and downs — I like the font he uses, but I don’t like how he makes the balloons jagged to denote shouting, instead of increasing the font size — a much more efficient method.

“Gravel #14″ wraps up a “meh” story arc. This has been a formulaic plot, schematic and most of all, unremarkable. The previous issue left so little impression in me I thought, upon reading this one, that I had missed it.

This one, though, has some highlights, since it’s a climactic conclusion. I like how Gravel turns the entire city against his enemies, and Mike Wolfer and Warren Ellis’ dialogue is always interesting enough, but I’m afraid that’s it. I know it sounds like I’m too tired to write a proper review, but the truth is I found “The Walking Dead #66″ to be more of the same (which is not necessarily bad, considering it’s a good series) and “Gravel #14″ is simply the end of a frankly boring story arc. It’s just “alright”. All I’ve said about previous issues, from the writing, to the art, to the colors — is still valid, so I’m afraid repeating everything would be an exercise in pointlessness.

Comic Review – Punisher Noir #2 and The Walking Dead #65

I thought Punisher Noir would follow the same vein of its first issue throughout the remaining three. Dull, bland and cliched, a story that uses the thirties and the “noir” genre as more of a gimmick, trying to add weight and importance to a plot that has been in more movies than imdb.com is capable of listing: father being harassed by mob, training son to deal with the world, blah blah blah.

I was wrong. Punisher Noir, in a single issue, has gone from bland to utterly putrid. It is so bad it nulls out the decent artwork. Either Frank Tieri simply isn’t too into this, or he was, dunno, beaten up and drugged while writing this, or he writes like this all the time — and if it’s the latter, it boggles my mind how he stays employed. I don’t follow his work so I can’t tell, but it’s rare that a single issue of a comic makes me doubt someone’s talent as much as I’m doubting his right now.

I don’t get what is so hard about writing The Punisher. He is a psychotic ‘nam veteran who’s been waging a war against crime for thirty years and stayed alive by using what he learned on the army: searching for cover, aiming down a gun’s sights properly, using flashbangs, etc. You know, real combat tactics. Yet, most writers go for the “cool” instead of the “believable” and have The Punisher wield two pistols at the same time and just storm into a room of baddies, spraying everything with bullets without taking any kind of cover. Not that it’s necessary, since the baddies, in those cases, shoot with the same accuracy of a drugged squirrel.

Even after Garth Ennis wrote sixty fucking issues (aside from the great Marvel Knights run) of what could be described as the DEFINITE Punisher, a perfect portrayal of the character, there, great, PERIOD — writers like Tieri still fail to grasp the concept and in Punisher Noir #1, we saw Frank Castle during World War One leaving the cover of a trench, wielding two pistols (with skull logos on them, just to make things cheesier) and spraying everything with bullets while standing out in the open like a moron. And the story remarks its own dumbness by having that work out pretty well for him.

But while issue #1 could simply be described as “mediocre”, issue #2 stands on the edge of that cliff for a while until finally and proudly leaping off into the depths of artistic sewage. Instead of coming up with his own characters — you know, to make up for not coming up with a decent plot — Tieri takes FOUR characters created by someone else and adapts them to this story. And by “adapt”, I mean “shoves them in it carelessly”.

Three of these characters, hilariously, are from Ennis’ work: Detective Soap, The Russian and Barracuda.

Written by Ennis, Soap was an incompetent and terribly unlucky detective, but extremely determined and associated with people who could make up for his faults. In Punisher Noir, Soap is given a moustache and is actually a… pretty good detective, as the scene that introduces him tries so hard to make clear. Also, no pigeons shit on his head or anything of the sort, so he isn’t unlucky either.

In that case… why is he named Soap? Why use Ennis’ work if you aren’t going to use what made it GOOD in the first place?

I’m inclined to the answer: “Because Tieri is a talentless hack who uses other people’s work to try and add some quality to his own.” But I do not read Tieri’s stuff and can’t pass that judgement, but god damn is the man making an effort to suck by doing the same thing to TWO other characters.

The Russian shows up on a flashback, with Frank Castle fighting him on a train. I wonder if this is a reference to the James Bond film “From Russia With Love” — it looks very obviously like one, but I cannot fathom why anyone would think it’s an appropriate reference for a flashback happening in 1918 and about the Punisher. Still, the flashback, aside from being very badly written (The Punisher and The Russian almost effortlessly climb on the top of the train while exchanging one-liners), is utterly pointless. A filler and a blatant attempt to use Ennis’ success once again. It’s actually funny how Tieri tries to give this scene a point by having Castle tell it to his son and add “this is what happens when you get caught unprepared”. Sure, Tieri — a whole fight scene on a train between The Punisher and The Russian WASN’T an attempt to give someone else’s character a lenghty cameo, it was The Punisher teaching his son a LESSON. Of course.

Then we get Barracuda. While Soap got a moustache to distinguish him from his 21st century counterpart, Barracuda is turned into Karl Marx. Apparently, Tieri has a hard time coming up with his own psychotic mercenaries, so he sticks a huge beard on an Ennis character and uses him shamelessly — while not adding any of the stuff that made Barracuda a great character, like his omnipresent optimism.

And there’s Jigsaw, too, your instant go-to character when you want a villain for a Punisher story. I swear, if I ever find myself by some strange twist of fate writing the Punisher, I’ll start the story with Jigsaw being killed with no possible means of ressuscitation even for a comic book. Fuck him. He’s a shitty villain. “Oh, he has a face like a jigsaw, that makes him –” A SHITTY VILLAIN WITH A FACE LIKE A JIGSAW, NOW SHUT UP.

This shameless, careless use of other people’s characters — which isn’t necessarily bad if you can do it right, which Tieri doesn’t — is one of the two things that sinks this comic. Aside from those two things, the rest of the story is just bland and unremarkable.

The other thing is the villain Tieri does create, Dutch Schultz, is a pathetically bad ch — wait, wait.

*does quick wikipedia search*

Sorry, Dutch Schultz was actually a real New York mobster during the twenties and thirties. But I didn’t read anything about cutting off his henchmen’s fingers (apparently ignoring they need them to hold a fucking pistol) or killing them for no reason, as Tieri’s Dutch does. Which makes me wonder why Tieri uses Dutch Schultz’ name if… oh, hahaha, sorry again, I am still considering the possibility of Tieri having any ability whatsoever to come up with characters of his own. So he uses a real life mobster and makes him cartoonishly evil. I half-expected Schultz to let out an evil laughter after killing a henchman he had previously crippled.

I can tell I really hated a comic when I write so much about it and haven’t even gotten to the artwork yet. Paul Azaceta’s work is decent, with good sepia-ish coloring by Nick Filardi and run-of-the-mill lettering by Joe Sabino — of course, with Tieri’s dialogue, ANY lettering would look run-of-the-mill. Sabino could have actually improved it by drawing penises inside the balloons instead of words, but alas he’s professional and apparently far more mature than I am. So.

In case you failed to grasp that by now, Punisher Noir is utter shit. Now let’s talk about a far better comic…

… which hasn’t been as good as it used to be. “The Walking Dead” has been suffering from a lack of aim since the exceptional fiftieth issue, which felt like a definite climax and kind of re-booted the series, putting everything back in square one. And from that point on, Robert Kirkman relied on stupid coincidences for a while and on repetitive character drama, until recently the series got back on its feet but still suffers from its main, long-standing problem — it just lacks a point. It doesn’t seem to be going anywhere interesting.

It’s still a readable and good series, mind you, but it seems to have lost a lot of its ambition. So what I’m trying to say is — after this arc, which deals with human beings who turned into cannibals to survive (hardly an original premise, honestly) — Kirkman should get the characters to wherever it is they’re going and give us some answers. Why are some zombies apparently sick and falling over? Why is — wait, actually, that’s the only answer being expected. See the problem?

All that said, issue #65 has some good moments. I especially like how Rick says he wants to hear every word of what Dale has to say to him (which promises not to be very nice, and about time since this whole Dale vs. Rick shit has been going on far longer than it should have), but I really like the dialogue between Rick and the leader of the cannibals, who is interestingly aware of his deeds and has a real understanding way about him, even as he tells you he’s going to hunt you down and devour you. You can imagine him, on a pre-apocalyptic world, as a perfectly nice guy, but in a post-apocalyptic one he’s now a monster.

While dealing with this new threat, Kirkman has had his characters… forget their own troubles. Perhaps way more than he should have. I mean, not long ago Rick was talking to a dead person on a broken phone. And Abraham was afraid of falling victim to his own killing urges. But elegantly, the cliffhanger of this issue alludes to these very characters doing something insane on the next issue, which might make up for that, adding some good narrative balance to the story.

Charlie Adlard’s art continues to be as efficient and clear as it always is, with his great panel distribution and, especially, the composition of those panels. He’s careful to leave space for Rus Wooton’s good lettering without sacrificing the beauty of his angles. Cliff Rathburn’s gray tones are very good but almost unecessary considering Adlard’s talent for shadowing. At this point, him and Kirkman are practically reading each other’s minds, almost in an Ennis-Dillon fashion. I highlight Rick’s excellent facial expression when the leader of the cannibals reveals something to him — it’s such a fitting expression you’ll recognize it when you see it.

It’s a good series. It is. But it used to be excellent. Now it’s a bit like it’s wandering around aimlessly. Sure, it’s character-driven, but even these characters are starting to lose their appeal and become repetitive shadows of their former selves, and while we’re just at the beginning of this slippery slope and Kirkman can still reverse this with relative ease, if it remains ignored it will just turn into another zombie story without that distinctive storytelling that made it something else.

Catching Up With The Last Weeks – Apologies, Reviews and Rantings

Sorry.

See, I’m on new meds. And the scary thing is that they’re actually working. Although I’m still feeling exhausted for no reason, it no longer impacts my productivity — so in the last few weeks, I’ve been overwhelmed by an urge to create. If you’ve seen my Flickr account lately, or if you follow me on Twitter, or if you’ve been to the Whitechapel Forum, you’ll see what I mean.

So I kinda forgot the blog. No worries. I’ll make up for the lack of reviews with capsule reviews of the comics I missed, and, on a new post, actual reviews of this week’s comics. More movie reviews, flash fics and Pitch Black strips to come soon.

(I had actually written most of the comic reviews two weeks ago, but I was hit by a wall of tired and collapsed halfway through it. Upon returning, I tried to continue it but you know when it feels like you’re trying to bring a long-dead body back to life? Yeah. So. Capsule reviews.)

THE BOYS #28 – It brings the usual goods (great writing and dialogue, good characters), plus it’s a especially intense issue with an interesting cliffhanger. John Higgins’ art is not as good as in his first guest appearance, but it’s still competent — and Tony Avina and Simon Bowland (colorist and letterer), as usual, don’t disappoint.

UNKNOWN SOLDIER #5 – Same excellent writing, same shitty art, same shittier colours, same brilliant lettering. Despite being visually poor, the script makes up for it, resulting in a great book.

BACK TO BROOKLYN #4 – The brief drop-off in quality I mentioned on the last issue – and which I assumed to be mostly Jimmy Palmiotti’s fault – is absent here, and the book is back on track — this time, credit goes to all involved. Both the general story, the subtleties of it and the artwork are stellar.

NO HERO #4 – A book that seemed to be going nowhere new suddenly is. A story that seemed to lack depth suddenly has a lot of it. An artist who seemed to worried about the visuals and forgetting the narrative suddenly does amazing work in both fronts. A reviewer is suddenly very happy.

THE WALKING DEAD #59 – Tense, foreboding, well-paced, with good dialogue and great artwork. This ongoing seems to be done tripping on its own feet.

WOLVERINE #71 – The artwork is fucking amazing. The script continues to provide good use for it, with an interesting story.

Comic Review – Kick-Ass #5, Wolverine #70, Incognito #1, Punisher: Warzone #4, Back To Brooklyn #3, The Boys #26, The Walking Dead #57 and No Hero #3

That’s what I get for skipping a week of reviews. Anyway, off we go…

Kick-Ass #5

Written by Mark Millar

Art by John Romita Jr.

Inks by Tom Palmer

Colors by Dean White

Lettering by Chris Eliopoulos

Published by Marvel\Icon

In a nutshell: Free of any boundaries whatsoever, Mark Millar continues to entertain immenselly with this not very original but fucking funny book.

“Superheroes in the real world” is to comics what “World War II” is to games. It quickly became one of the most explored trends in the medium and now, it’s starting to be despised for having been around for so long. But some titles still manage to milk out good reading from this concept – “Kick-Ass” is an unpretensious ride: a teenager who’s sick of his own life decides to take inspiration from comics and become a superhero – who, after beating up a gang of thugs (apparently the boy has a natural talent for brawling), is called KICK-ASS.

As he usually does, Millar sets the world of this book in our reality – very much like “The Ultimates” did, with Air Force One being taken down and President Bush still in it (drawn with enormous likeness by Bryan Hitch, right down to his eternally stupid expression). In “Kick-Ass”, Millar uses YouTube, MySpace and even the famous comics forum Newsarama as ways of making the reader feel as if the main character is real and could be next door. Of course, this destroys this book’s immortality – in twenty years’ time, few will remember what MySpace, YouTube or Newsarama were – but when the protagonist thinks, “Before this guy came along, I was Heroes Season One. Now, as far as the net was concerned, I’m Season fucking Two”, it’s hard not to laugh. It’s a great reference, even if one that won’t survive for long.

(I haven’t watched Season Two of Heroes, but it amazes me it was actually considered worse than Season One, which was already a bag of shit)

In fact, all the references Millar uses work – especially the moment where Kick-Ass complains about New York being so safe since Giuliani (“Why couldn’t I have been around during the shit-heap era?”, he whines). Annoyed by a rival superhero who started getting all his attention, Kick-Ass calls out on this guy and they do a team-up. This is how Millar reveals how the protagonist is, instead of a righteous crusader, more of an attention-whore – and this is an aspect “Kick-Ass” shares with Garth Ennis’ excellent “The Boys”: portraying superheroes not as good-to-the-soul knights, but more as celebrities – often stupid ones. But Millar also shows how a part of Kick-Ass takes what he does seriously, as the third-act of this issue proves. Fortunately not giving two shits about censorship, Millar doesn’t hesitate even in adding a foul-mouthed child superheroine who kills people as casually as one blinks. With two samurai swords, too.

John Romita Jr. is doing some of his best work in years – thankfully, since his art in “World War Hulk” was so terrible it seemed to have been pencilled with his arsehole. Thankfully no longer working with Klaus Janson – whom I consider one of the worst inkers in the industry and a ridiculously overrated one (“But — he worked with Frank Miller!!!”) – Romita Jr. joins the efficient Tom Palmer and is clearly at ease with this book. His visual narrative – Romita Jr.’s greatest strength – is as good as ever, and his cartoony style suits the story well. Clearly understanding the satiric tone of the plot, he doesn’t try to draw Kick-Ass as a bad-ass hero – instead, he always looks spectacularly ridiculous in those tights.

Funny and entertaining, “Kick-Ass” is good while it lasts. Half the jokes won’t make much sense in the future, but for now, it’s a good book.

Wolverine #70

Written by Mark Millar

Art by Steve McNiven

Inks by Dexter Vines and Mark Morales

Colors by Morry Hollowell and Justin Ponsor

Lettering by VC’s Cory Petit

Published by Marvel

In a nutshell: Millar reveals what made Logan sheath his claws forever, and the revelation doesn’t disappoint – mainly thanks to Steve McNiven’s phenomenal artwork.

This is McNiven’s show – Millar knows that and therefore allows for several splash pages. This issue relies more on image than words, and this is when having a brilliant artist counts.

Logan tells Clint what made him promise himself never to “hurt another living soul” – and fortunately, it’s not underwhelming. It makes sense and it more than justifies Logan’s decision. But while the script is good, I won’t waste my time talking about it – because it’s McNiven who owns this episode. His art is detailed without ever becoming a mess (yes, that means you, Geoff Darrow) and his lines are as clean as Steve Dillon’s. It’s amazing, but McNiven IS the complete package. His visual narrative is flawless, his facial expressions are excellent, his angles are well-composed and difficult to draw (not to him, though). And in this issue, he rocks out, extracting as much emotion as possible from every panel. Dexter Vines and Mark Morales’ inks, along with the color art by Morry Hollowell and Justin Ponsor, complete his artwork with sheer perfection.

After the revelation, the issue sets up a new challenge for Logan and Clint to face – a friend of mine described it as “LAME”, but I don’t mind it. It’s not terribly clever, mind you, but I don’t think it lowers the quality standard of this very enjoyable arc.

Incognito #1

Written by Ed Brubaker

Art by Sean Phillips

Colors by Val Staples

Published by Marvel\Icon

In a Nutshell: Another damn super (anti) Hero. Brings absolutely nothing new to the table.

Common Sense: Hey, Ed! You just wrote one of the best books of late, “Criminal”. What’s your next step?

Ed Brubaker: I’m thinking… mmm… maybe a supervillain-who’s-not-really-a-villain kinda book.

CS: …

EB: What?

CS: … really? I mean, you just wrote a noir in comic format – something, y’know, original for the medium – and you’re gonna write superheroes?

EB: Well, not a superhero. A, well, a superhuman with a tendency to evil but not really.

CS: Well, have you got at least something original to say in that book?

EB: Nah. Protagonist is apparently a super-strong freak who was in the Witness Protection Program, but gets tired of his boring life and decides to go back to doing what he used to do – which is… hopping around buildings and saving dames from being raped, I guess. Oh, and there’s a mad scientist kinda guy after him. And he had a twin. Who’s dead, although he’ll probably turn out not to be at some point on the book. The protagonist, not the mad scientist.

CS: …

EB: I think it’s cool.

CS: What’s the book’s name?

EB: I think I’ll call it “Incognito”.

CS: What does that mean?

EB: It’s like the X in an equation. The protagonist likes being no-one, disappearing below his disguise – which, strangely, is a mask no bigger than sunglasses, but still.

CS: That sounds…

EB: Great, right? I’ll call Sean right away. *calls*

SEAN PHILLIPS: Yeah?

EB: Hey, Sean, have you got time to draw another comic for me?

SP: Jesus, Eddie, I’m not the only artist in the fucking industry, you know.

EB: C’mon, we’re like Ennis and Dillon, Sean.

SP: Dillon gets to draw cool stuff, like heads being blown away by shotguns.

EB: I have even cooler things for you to draw.

SP: What’s that?

EB: *Explains*

SP: Another superhero book?

Common Sense: See?

ED: Shut up.

SP: What?

ED: Not you, sorry. C’mon, Sean. You’ll get to draw a woman having sex with a guy in a Santa costume.

SP: *Sigh* Okay. Tell Joe to send an extra check to my mail.

ED: Will do. *hangs up*

CS: Why does nobody listen to me?

ED: Hey, at least I’m not like Grant Morrison. He rapes you every time you show up at his doorstep.

Punisher: Warzone #4

Written by Garth Ennis

Art by Steve Dillon

Colors by Matt Hollingsworth

Lettering by VC’s Cory Petit

Published by Marvel Knights

In a nutshell: Ennis +  Dillon + Hollingsworth + Punisher + Dark Humor = Buy This Fucking Book.

With Schitti’s ear having been accidentally injected with some kind of drug, Castle drags him along as he tries to find Ma Gnucci (or at least one of them). Meanwhile, Molly Von Richthofen finds herself trapped in a bad situation.

As you can see, Ennis continues to take care of the supporting characters as well as the main one. Focused on his unpretensious, dark-humored style (among the many he has), the Irish writer comfortably moves the plot forward with excellent dialogue (“Who’s gonna really need the refrigerator here?”) and good characters. He even finds some gaps between the moments of pitch-black comedy to add some low-key drama – like in the scene a character loses his temper and says Castle’s kids are in Hell – to his face.

Steve Dillon’s art – no, no need to say anything more about the script, since I would merely be repeating my points from the previous review – Steve Dillon’s art is… actually, no need to say anything about the art either, since it’s still… Dillon, therefore exceptional. Especially with Matt Hollingsworth coloring it.

Really, nothing else to add. Continues to be a fucking great book.

Back to Brooklyn #3

Written by Garth Ennis, with story by Garth Ennis and Jimmy Palmiotti

Art by Mihailo Vukelic

Additional Coloring by Bryan Free

Lettering by Simon Bowland

Published by Image Comics

In a nutshell: cliched and Mihailo Vukelic’s art has dropped in quality like a fucking cliff, but guess what: Garth Ennis makes it work.

Jimmy Palmiotti isn’t a good writer. All I’ve read by him was cliche, or silly or downright mediocre. And now that “Back to Brooklyn #3″ – a story mainly conceived by him – reaches its third issue, the flaws on the plot start to make themselves clear – the cliches start to creep up. No, Jimmy Palmiotti isn’t a good writer.

But Garth Ennis is a brilliant one. So he makes it work, as he always does. He steamrolls over the cliches with his sharp dialogue and good characterization, which make “BtB” an above-average story, even if not one of Ennis’ best by far.

This might sound weird, considering I was singing my praises for the second issue of this very book not long ago. Well, I might worship Ennis but I’m not blind – what seemed like forgivable, not-worth-mentioning problems in the previous issues have evolved into considerable ones. Churchill – the psychopath who’s after the protagonists – is completely devoid of any originality. Ennis tries, but can’t seem to make him interesting – the writer has created far better psychopaths in the past, so Churchill is no more than a faint shadow of them. There’s the old-friend-who-offers-refuge-to-the-protagonists-and-ends-up-killed-by-the-villains, the worst cliche of this book. And there’s the three main characters – while Bob Saetta is a good one, Vinnie is The Sidekick and Maggie is The Ex-Girlfriend – potential stereotypes.

I say “potential” because Ennis manages to avoid these faults in Palmiotti’s work and milk out a tense story out of this. Yes, Churchill’s monologue in the beggining of the book fails to be truly threatening, but the argument between the Comissioner and the Fed is depressingly hilarious and Maggie and Vinnie’s reactions to Bob Saetta’s violent world are plausible and sensitive. It’s interesting to notice how Maggie doesn’t want anything to do with Bob’s problems until he mentions there’s a kid involved – it’s also worthy of note how Vinnie, not Maggie, weeps when they watch a terrifying video – a lesser writer would make MAGGIE cry, because she’s a woman – but Ennis always wrote characters, not stereotypes, so they react like their personalities would make them.

Mihailo Vukelic’s art… I have no idea what happened. It went from excellent to decent in a single issue. His backgrounds are badly-detailed and blurred, as is the overall artwork. Even with additional help from Bryan Free, and even with the good visual narrative, the art is not a reason to buy this issue.

Ennis is. As always. But it’s sad to see that not even him could save this issue from some bad flaws. Let’s hope the next two live up to the potential of the first two.

The Boys #26

Written by Garth Ennis

Art by Dar… er, John Higgins

Colors by Tony Avina

Lettering by Simon Bowland

Published by Dynamite Entertainment

In a Nutshell: interesting, funny and with a strong, dark ending – also, John Higgins manages to keep up with Darick Robertson’s usual art, not disappointing in the slightest bit.

Hughie takes a break from spying on G-Wiz (a task that is finished, but that he wants to draw out a little longer out of curiosity) to see Annie, Mother’s Milk continues his investigations and Butcher finds out what seems to be a horrible secret. A lot of stuff happens in this episode, presented with Ennis’ usual mix of dark humor, subtle romance and good foreshadowing. Hughie and Annie’s relationship is believable and never resorts to cheap romantism to touch the reader – Ennis portrays them both without pulling any punches, showing them both naked in the woods (something reminiscent of Jesse and Tulip on their bed, in Ennis’ magnificent magnum opus “Preacher”) and talking to each other naturally. Meanwhile, Butcher has some fun with a cat (oh, how I laughed when he says the “magic words” to his dog Terror…) before doing something quite unexpected that sheds some light on his true personality: Butcher is far from being as mentally balanced as he seems.

While some would say the G-Men are a cheap satire of the X-Men – which they are – Ennis expands his horizons further, adding several groups that form the G-Men, like G-Wiz, G-Style and etc., which don’t keep good terms with one another (“Throw them a basketball?”). Still, Ennis can’t resist taking the piss, like when this book’s version of Iceman kind of exaggerates on his power when tryng to freeze a can of beer.

John Higgins replaces Darick Robertson on this issue, and he doesn’t disappoint in the slightest. Nailing all the characters, Higgins has excellent narrative and lines, and Avina’s colors are, as usual, impeccable. I especially like the last page.

“The Boys #26″ is… well, guess what. I’ll happily keep reading.

Written by Robert Kirkman

Art by Charlie Adlard

Grey tones by Cliff Rathburn

Lettering by Rus Wooton

Published by Image Comics

In a Nutshell: Yep. “Walking Dead” is back on track.

It fills me with joy to see that, finally, Kirkman has written two excellent issues in a row. In this one, the group’s making their trip to Washington – until they get to an interstate, when they decide to stop and see what to do. Rick and Carl team up with Abraham to go look for supplies and run into serious trouble – and Rick’s reaction is one of the best scenes since the moment Rick found out who it was on the phone, about six issues ago.

In a fairly lengthy issue with great dialogue, Kirkman is in no hurry and builds the relationship between Rick and Abraham with plausibility. They might dislike each other, but they’re both adults and therefore act like it, cooperating with one another even if cursing under their breath. And the way they bond when they get into trouble comes naturally and leads up to a very good final page.

The credit also goes to Charlie Adlard, who draws the shit out of aforementioned scene – including a very threatening, barely recognizable Rick. Both writer and artist are on top of their games here, and “The Walking Dead” seems to have returned to its usual brilliance.

I hope it stays there.

(Larger image I could find on short notice – quit complaining, you can see it, can’t you?)

No Hero #3

Written by Warren Ellis

Art by Juan Jose Ryp

Colors by Digikore Studios

Published by Avatar Press

In a Nutshell: “No Hero #3″ takes a turn for the best and surprises me with a good change of pace – it’s now oficially interesting and worth a read.

At first I wasn’t liking “No Hero” – now, it’s turning out to be way less predictable than I thought, with the sudden death of a character and a questions some of them ask about the protagonist, who at first was very much against drugs but didn’t even flinch in taking FX7 (the drug that turns people into superhumans).

Creating a good feeling of tension, Warren Ellis seems to be returning to his usual self – the dialogue is great, no longer the same for every character, and the narrative is intriguing and flows well, starting with a very mysterious interview. The protagonist, Joshua, is left aside and the supporting characters dominate the narrative, revealing other facets of their personalities that make them more interesting and tridimensional – especially Carrick Masterson, whose desperation in a certain scene of this episode comes as a surprise.

Juan Jose Ryp is also sharp, and while his facial expressions still need some work, his narrative and detailed artwork are pure eye-candy. He refrains himself from overdoing it, and keeps a steady balance from beggining to end, aided by good coloring by Digikore Studios.

Yes, “No Hero” is very interesting all of a sudden – and being a fan of Warren Ellis, it makes me happy to say this.

Comic Review – The Walking Dead #56, Punisher: Warzone #3, Unknown Soldier #3, Doktor Sleepless #10 and Batman #683

(issue 56 of “Preacher” has the same kind of cover. Coincidence or homage?)

The Walking Dead #56

Written by Robert Kirkman

Art by Charlie Adlard

Gray Tones by Cliff Rathburn

Lettering by Rus Wooton

Published by Image Comics

In a nutshell: Kirkman seems to find some ground and adds an interesting subplot to what has been a terribly irregular arc. Adlard’s art and Cliffburn’s tones are as efficient as usual.

Again, I’m hoping this issue means Robert Kirkman finally found a subplot that can get this title moving again. Recently, the writer has used unlikely coincidences and events to do so, almost reducing the characters to stereotypes. In this issue, however, he introduces a new, tense problem that not only is character-driven, but also original – something difficult for an ongoing series that’s almost at sixty issues, equivalent to, not counting the delays, five years of publishing.

In the previous episode, Maggie hanged herself. I questioned the probability of Maggie actually doing that and filed it under “shock value”, but in this issue, Kirkman builds an excellent scene around the event, which serves as a base to the aforementioned tense subplot. It’s refreshing to see Rick being himself for the first time in a long time, as Michonne put it. Also, Kirkman shrouds Maggie’s decision in mystery, which indicates he has a plausible explanation (I hope) for what she did. I will say no more about this or about Maggie, because I’m coming very close to revealing a spoiler around which the first scene depends in order to be appropriately striking.

What’s important is Abraham, the new character Kirkman introduced and who seems straight out of “Gears of War”: big, manly and blunt, he’s clearly a control freak who likes to believe nobody knows as much about the situation than he does. Therefore, his face when he turns out to be so horribly wrong in a certain moment is, to Charlie Adlard’s credit, perfect. And to Kirkman’s credit, so is his behavior for the rest of the issue, right up until the final page that summarizes basically what’s wrong with the character.

Pretty much nailing the characterization and dialogue this time, Kirkman also gets the pacing right – unlike the previous issue, which was a disappointingly quick read on top of being a mediocre one as well. So once again, I repeat: I hope the writer keeps it up this time, going back to the character-driven style that made all the issues up to #51 must-reads.

As for Charlie Adlard, his art continues as consistent and narratively excellent as usual, but I did notice some carelessness. An almost hilarious example is when Rick is confronting Abraham and his gun is holstered on the right side of his waist – and Rick doesn’t have a right hand, which would make for a quite funny scene if a zombie happened to show up. But when Rick is walking away in the same scene, the holster is back on the left side. Aside from that, facial expressions and panel composition are as professional as I’ve come to expect from Adlard, and Cliff Rathburn’s grey tones cleans everything up nicely. Rus Wooton’s lettering keeps the same high standards from previous issues.

“The Walking Dead #56″ is a good read, but it doesn’t convince me the next issue will be as good. I am, however, reassured.

(couldn’t find issue three’s cover on Google Images, so that’s  issue one’s)

Punisher: Warzone #3

Written by Garth Ennis

Art by Steve Dillon

Colors by Matt Hollingsworth

(I think I just squealed out of sheer awesome – it’s the “Preacher” team!)

Lettering by VC’s Cory Petit

Published by Marvel Knights

In a nutshell: Ennis, Dillon and Hollingsworth. Do I really need to say more?

This mini-series came as a complete surprise to me. I had no idea Ennis and Dillon were briefly returning to their darkly hilarious Marvel Knights’ Punisher ongoing. For a second, I thought it was a half-assed adaptation of the film until I saw their names on the cover, and Matt Hollingsworth to boot. Obviously, I smiled like an idiot at that sight. Although I most definitely prefer the Max version of the character, Ennis’ previous Punisher was still one of the best dark comedy ongoings in the industry – I’ll never, ever forget the classic scene Frank Castle runs over Wolverine with a steamroller (“This’ll do the trick”), or uses Spider-Man as a human shield against The Russian (who, by the way, has a huge pair of tits in that very scene).

So to see a sequel to the classic Punisher maxisseries that pretty much ressurrected the character from his disastrous “Angelic Avenger” portrayal is really satisfying, especially when it (sort of) brings back a great villain: Ma Gnucci. In the previous issues, Frank saw the return of the wretched bitch, whom he had crippled – leaving only a head and a torso, but still alive – and posteriorly kicked into a mansion on fire, watching until he was sure she’d died. So it came as a bit of a surprise when, in the first issue, she appeared in a Gnucci reunion. Once again proving why he’s the best Punisher writer ever, Ennis promptly made Frank bazooka the fuck out of her and everyone around her, killing her instantly – Frank Castle was never one to let surprise cloud his judgement. But apparently, she had been seen again another location afterwards. Confused, Castle tries to get to the bottom of this as he works with an informant who’s undercover in the Gnucci family in exchange for his life when the job’s done. Meanwhile, the son of aristocrat vigilante Elite is determined to carry on his father’s work: assassinating the Punisher.

Establishing the light, cruelly funny tone of the book right in the first page that recollects everything that happened up to this point, Ennis is clearly just having fun here doing his trip down memory lane, and he’s ever so happy to let us in on the ride. The dialogue is sharp as you’d expect from him and the characterizations are, as usual, the story’s main strenght – since The Punisher himself is not exactly the deepest guy in the world, the supporting characters need to be interesting so we’ll care about the story. Case in point, the undercover agent Frank’s using, Schitti, is immediately likable – and the nagging doubt on whether the Punisher will let him live or not is always present. While the unforgettable lieutenant Martin Soap is not present, the lesbian detective Von Richthofen is, and her personal struggles with her bissexual girlfriend is one of the book’s highlights. The new Elite is as funny as the previous one, and his captions are priceless in their spoiled little aristocratic rants. It’s impressive how Ennis easily goes back to the style of his MK Punisher series, which ended about five years ago.

And then we have Steve Dillon, a brilliant artist whose style I’ve come to nearly worship. Some say his characters all look alike, but that’s just pointless nitpicking – if you pay attention, most artists who don’t use reference have characters that look alike – even the phenomenal John Cassaday suffers from this. What really matters about Dillon’s art is the perfect visual narrative – clear angles, excellent facial expressions, an immediate compatibility with Ennis’ writing. I thought he was severely underestimated for his “Wolverine: Origins” work – he was one of the few good things in that title. Also, I always liked Dillon’s clean lines. In this mini-series, he’s particularly inspired and comfortable with the action scenes and especially, the humor.

Finally, Matt Hollingsworth, a hugely talented color artist who is clearly satisfied to be working with Dillon again. Notice how he nails the lighting in the graveyard scene, and the blur he adds when someone shoots in order to simulate the gun’s recoil. Dillon, too, gets Castle’s shooting stance perfectly – it’s not easy to draw a machinegun shooting stance due to it’s complex nature: butt of the gun on shoulder, one hand on the trigger, the other on the grip, eyes lined up with ironsights – tricky. But he does it. I’m just unsure whether it’s correct to close one eye while shooting – I hear it’s wrong not to aim with both eyes open.

Entertaining and nostalgic, “Punisher: Warzone #3″ is a fun trip. When it comes to me – as must know by now – the more Ennis, the better. And it’s weekly, too.

(couldn’t find issue three’s cover, would you believe. So that one is… dunno. One of the covers.)

Unknown Soldier #3

Written by Joshua Dysart

Art by Alberto Ponticelli

Colors by Oscar Celestini

Lettering by Clem Robins

Published by DC\Vertigo

In a nutshell: One of the best single issues of 2008. Holy SHIT.

“Unknown Soldier #3″ can already be considered one of the best single issues of 2008.  Despite Alberto Ponticelli’s weak artwork, the narrative is strong and relentless, not afraid of showing children being murdered and the complex nature of Uganda’s war. It dissects the nature of the country’s violence via the eyes of an apparently psychotic man, Lwanga Moses – the new Unknown Soldier.

In this issue, Moses fails to pull the trigger when necessary and is captured by the L.R.A. (Lord’s Resistance Army) and sees, up close, how disgusting and rotten it all is when he meets with the leader of the particular cell he’s been captured by – a man who casually says he’s a friend of Jesus Christ, but sees no problem in brainwashing children and using them as soldiers – or little girls as wives for these soldiers. It’s, at the same time, painful to witness how Moses is starting to depend on the dark side of his personality – the one who, so far inexplicably, guides him in battle. Reaching a perfect balance, Dysart exposes the rotten nature of religion while he shows some of the goodness it may inspire, like sister Sharon’s struggle to save the children.

But his story isn’t mere propaganda – it’s strongly based and written, with excellent dialogue and brilliant use of violence to cause necessary shock. And the last page is heartbreaking, even in Ponticelli’s under-developed pencils, for what it portrays alone.

Ponticelli is, as already mentioned, lost. His narrative is comprehensible, but his lines are sketchy and indecisive, without the necessary weight a story like this requires. Colorist Oscar Celestini gets the tones right, but his simplistic palette doesn’t help Ponticelli’s art in the slightest – this is a book someone like Goran Parlov would be immensely comfortable drawing, and I hope the next arc brings a better-suited artist to handle it.

Brave and poignant, “Unknown Soldier #3″ establishes Joshua Dysart as a very, very promising graphic novellist. If this arc continues on this path, it will even surpass Ennis’ Unknown Soldier mini-series – and that is pretty much the highest compliment I can offer.

Doktor Sleepless #10

Written by Warren Ellis

Art by Ivan Rodriguez

Colors by Andrew Dalhouse

Published by Avatar Press

In a nutshell: Even if Warren Ellis hasn’t been as sharp as usual, Dok Sleepless continues to be an intriguing and well-written ongoing – especially in this excellent issue.

In order to build the mythology around his titular character, Warren Ellis (aka Internet Jesus, Love Swami and other nicknames used by the people on his criminally fun social network) has taken a step back from the protagonist and is now portraying Heavenside, the city he lives in – or haunts, depending on who you are. As he does that, he also builds the central mystery of the book: who the fuck IS Doktor Sleepless? Is he good? Is he evil? What’s his ultimate plan? Who’s he using?

In issue #10, we are introduced to Alex Singer, a dirty-mouthed detective who mantains an unpolite (but playful) relationship with her superior – a subtle touch in characterization that adds to the characters’ individuality, an aspect I’ve been giving Ellis shit about in my reviews of late, saying his characters sound too much like the man himself (check out his Astonishing X-Men run, for an example). So it’s nice to see people who seem less like Ellis’ creations and more like… well, people. This detective in particular ends up with Dr. Albert Cannon, who just attempted to shank a reporter called Sarah Berlin. As she interrogates him, she finds out surprising truths about the man – and a final, horrible truth surrounding him and the captain of the police, the all-powerful Preston Stoker – so powerful, in fact, he can afford to talk about himself in the third person without being called on it.

The dialogue is priceless this time around. I especially like when a policeman says Cannon has been getting treatment for his burns, Alex asks what kind of treatment and he answers “Pointing and laughing, mostly”. But the winning line is most definitely when Alex asks Cannon: “You were going to stab Sarah Berlin with the same knife you used to stab Gregory Shale. Why?” and he replies “Well, it was the only knife I had”. THIS is the Warren Ellis I love reading. Clever and sharp without losing sight of characterization. A especially brilliant moment is when a character slaps another – something that comes unexpectedly and conveys the gravity of the situation.

Ivan Rodriguez improves with each issue. His visual narrative is stylish and his characters have interesting design. In an issue that consists mostly of indoor settngs, he captures the feel just right, choosing good angles and shadowing to keep the scene interesting, as if the dialogue alone wasn’t enough. Andrew Dalhouse’s coloring is appropriate and pretty.

Intriguing and well-written, “Doktor Sleepless #10″ raises the standards of this series. It’s not a great ongoing yet, but most definitely a solid one.

Okay, okay. I’ll behave.

Batman #683

Written by (sigh) Grant Morrison

Art by Lee Garb -- oh, c’mon.

“Soul-killing shells”. I admired the structure of the previous issue, but this one is just more of the same with absolutely horrible, expositional dialogue and it hammers the same point: Batman is awesome. He’s the strongest, the smartest, he thinks of EVERYTHING yeah yeah I know. Anyway, I’m glad it’s over. Morrison’s run was a fucking disaster for the character – all it added of new sucked, with the only exception being the Joker’s new visual, which is interesting and less goofy.

I’m not going to waste any more time saying the same things I’ve been saying for the last five reviews or so.

Comic Review – Batman #681, The Walking Dead #55 and Unknown Soldier #2

(Shame to see such a beautiful cover wasted on this piss-poor issue)

Batman #681

Written by Grant Morrison

Art by Tony Daniel

Inks by Sandu Florea

Colors by Guy Major

Letters by Jared K. Fletcher

Published by DC Comics

In a nutshell: superb art, fucking disastrous script.

One of the things that makes Batman such a fascinating character is that he’s human. He’s got no superpowers, just highly-trained body and mind. He’s not capable of lifting a car or running at lightspeed. All that he’s capable of doing, he had to practice to exhaustion, and still he’s limited by his own humanity, making him vulnerable and therefore more interesting.

And here’s Grant Morrison’s Batman benchpressing his way out of a coffin buried beneath six hundred pounds of loose soil (after casually getting rid of a straitjacket and dealing with the locks) and switching two cups full of liquid in the time it takes for one to blink. So, as far as I’m concerned, Morrison can stick his version of Batman up his self-important arse.

Apparently, it wasn’t enough that the plot sucked. I mean, a villain who claims to be Batman’s father? Seriously? Has Morrison reached a point where he’s getting inspiration from Star Wars to write BATMAN? And as if THAT wasn’t enough, the Black Glove – as the villain calls himself -, is one of these sophisticated villains who talks as if he has a theather audience in front of him, making sure every line of dialogue is solemn and – most importantly – staggeringly stupid.

The Joker at least shines for a small moment, when he uses a “box” to metaphor Batman’s methods, but Morrison proceeds to drop Joker from the plot in the most ridiculous, casual way possible – the one character who was actually interesting in “Batman RIP”. Well, at least the writer didn’t KILL Joker as I feared he would.

Problem is, Morrison kills Batman – not the character, but his essence. Not even Frank Miller – known for his badass heroes and for having gone completely nuts recently – has gone as far as Morrison has in this issue (at least not that I know of): Batman simply pushes his way out of a coffin. Just like that. And the writer makes SURE to add this line, just to make it all more absurd: “Benchpressing a pine coffin lid through 600 pounds of loose soil that’s filling your mouth, crushing your lungs flat and shredding your dehydrated muscles? That’s harder. But far from impossible.” Sure. One can also breathe in space if he concentrates hard enough, you know. Morrison should have gone further and added, “BECAUSE I’M THE GODDAMN BATMAN”. And this is far from being the only example of “super-batman” in this issue: apparently, Bruce Wayne is also capable of carrying antidotes to all the poisons in the world in his chest pocket, and switching two cups full of liquid… in the time… it takes… for one… to blink… for fuck’s… sake. And to think Morrison constantly mocks Miller – well, I’m sorry to break it to you, Grant: as crazy as he is now, Miller has been more important to comics than YOU will ever be. So stop talking out of your arse and let the man do his Batman vs. Al Qaeda book – who knows, it might turn out – against all odds, I have to admit – to be truly interesting. As unlikely as that sounds.

All right, all right – I don’t really BELIEVE a book called “Holy Terror, Batman!” will mean Frank Miller’s return to form. Quite the contrary, actually. But fuck it, the point is Morrison has no room to talk about Miller judging from this ridiculous issue. Moving on…

While Morrison’s busy jerking off to himself, Tony Daniel really does a great job in the art. Helped by Sandu Florea’s meticulous inking and Guy Major’s excellent color scheme (I like the black, white and red in the flashbacks, even if the flashbacks themselves are ridiculous), Daniel nails most facial expressions and the characters. Jezebel Jet is truly beautiful (WAY more beautiful than Andy Kubert’s version) and the Joker always looks raving mad. Daniel’s only fault is on the pages Batman shows up in a big panel, since the artist insists on making his cape billow around him unrealistically – instead of looking badass, it actually looks pretty funny, like there’s a fan blowing right behind Batman.

It’s sad to see such a great character having his greatest aspects anally raped by a writer who considers himself more talented than he actually is. The more I read Grant Morrison’s work, the more convinced I am he’s the most overrated creator of his generation.

(An uninspired cover to an uninspired issue)

The Walking Dead #55

Written by Robert Kirkman

Art by Charlie Adlard

Grey Tones by Cliff Rathburn

Letters by Rus Wooton

Published by Image Comics

In a nutshell: too many pages wasted with bullshit we already knew, and a cliffhanger that manages to lack any impact due to how obvious it is a cheap attempt to shock.

About a fourth of this issue revolves around a dream Rick has, in which he feels guilty for failing to protect his family. After that, more than a fourth of it revolves around Rick talking on the phone with his dead wife, who he feels guilty for not having been able to protect.

Yes. Alright. I fucking get it.

How much longer is Kirkman going to hammer this into our minds? “Rick feels guilty, Rick feels guilty, Rick feels really fucking guilty”, yes yes we know time to see how the other characters are doing. However, Kirkman neglects the other characters, which is why the final page is completely unexpected, but not in a good way. Instead of feeling like something truly sad, it feels like Kirkman’s desperate to cause some shock on the reader, and simply flushes a character down the toilet out of nowhere. The one new thing this issue adds is a zombie that is weak and apparently sick – nothing mind-blowing in the slightest.

Even the dialogue Rick has with his dead wife – usually interesting – turns out to be just more of the same. “You’re dead, right? You’re not real blah blah blah”. That’s been so used in recent issues that her death is losing its impact. In fact, this whole series is starting to decline horribly. I already mentioned the ridiculous coincidences in previous episodes, and while issue 54 gave me a glimpse of how great Walking Dead usually is, this one just tripped and fell face down in dogshit. It’s a quick read, and most of it is wasted with obvious plot elements that have been developed enough already. Which is not to say there aren’t some good lines (“I guess I’ve convinced myself” is the one clever moment in Rick’s conversation with his wife), but overall it’s mediocre.

Charlie Adlard’s art is efficient as usual, with the same great visual narrative and shadowing. In fact, it’s the only thing besides the title that makes me remember I’m reading a “The Walking Dead” issue at all. Cliff Rathburn’s grey tones, similarly, are good and Rus Wooton’s lettering is clear and sharp.

I truly hope this series gets back up. I didn’t read fifty excellent issues just to be let down now.

(Shame to see such a great issue with this absolutely horrible cover)

Unknown Soldier #2

Written by Joshua Dysart

Art by Alberto Ponticelli

Colors by Oscar Celestini

Lettering by Clem Robins

Published by DC/Vertigo

In a nutshell: Warren Ellis sums it up perfectly on the cover of this issue: “This is an immensely brave, ruthless and intelligent piece of work. You need to read it.” I second that.

This is what I want to see in comics. Mature writing that packs a truly good punch about something revelant. Garth Ennis – a writer that, as you probably know by now, I can’t praise enough – wrote a phenomenal mini-series long ago called “Unknown Soldier” – about a nameless, faceless soldier who single-handedly kept alive everything that was wrong with the USA from World War Two to present days. Now, it’s up to Joshua Dysart to bring the character back, lived by a different protagonist and in a different setting: Northern Uganda.

In the previous issue, main character Lwanga Moses lost it and carved up his own face trying to shut up a voice he kept hearing in his head and that made him brutally kill armed children. Now, under the care of a nun and with his face completely bandaged, he tries to understand what turned him into a murderer out of nowhere – and how to go back to his wife, Sera, who’s in a village far from him unaware of what happened. But while that’s the main plot, Dysart cleverly deviates from it in order to introduce the environment where it happens. The scene in which kids find an unconscious Lwanga Moses is incredibly uneasy – not only due to the ever-disturbing sight of a child with a machinegun, but also to how he uses it to intimidate his friends. And this issue brings one of the most powerful lines I’ve had the pleasure of reading in comics as of late: when Lwanga listens to a kid telling him how she got a scar and lost her sister, he thinks “I can never get over the ‘matter-of-fact’ way children in the North tell their stories.” In fact, dialogue is something Joshua Dysart seems to be talented with (“I’m a lover sans frontieres, baby”).

While Dysart nails the nature of the place this story happens in, he also treats the Unknown Soldier with the necessary respect and fascination – dedicating half of a page to a panel where we see Lwanga Moses’ bandaged face for the first time. There’s also a good deal of mystery – who is the voice in Moses’ head? And what are the flashbacks he glimpses?

Alberto Ponticelli’s art is far from being as good as Killian Plunkett’s (from Ennis’ mini-series), but it’s still efficient and clear. A little too sketchy for its own good, but certainly sharper than in the previous issue, wherein Lwanga Moses’ destroyed face was drawn in such a simplified way it lost most of its impact. Oscar Celestini’s colors also lack a more complex scheme, but they work. And Clem Robins’ lettering is flawless – it’s really hard to criticize the guy who lettered “Preacher”.

“Unknown Soldier #2″ is powerful, promising and highly recommended. Vertigo is easily the greatest comics imprint of all-time, and I’m glad to be reading it again after a long time (although I hear Andy Diggle’s run on Hellblazer is being really good – I might check it out).

Comic Review – Wolverine #69, Back To Brooklyn #2 and The Walking Dead #54

Wolverine #69

Written by Mark Millar

Art by Steve McNiven

Inks by Dexter Vines

Colors by Morry Hollowell

Lettering by VCs Cory Petit

In a nutshell: epic and interesting, “Old Man Logan” continues to entertain and provide a compelling look at a post-apocalyptic USA set in the Marvel Universe. And even if it didn’t, McNiven’s phenomenal art alone would be worth it.

Mark Millar has a talent for ressuscitating titles. If a book hasn’t been at its best lately, with half-hearted arcs and poor art – call Mark Millar, ask him to write a new arc and it usually works wonders. This happened on Spider-Man, already happened on Wolverine and now is happening on Wolverine again.

Millar – who really should try writing a non-superhero story some time, because he’s got talent for it – carefully balances developing the characters and the world around them. Logan is portrayed as a deeply broken man who just wants to live a low-profile life in his own little corner. For unknown reasons (which are promised to be revealed on the next issue), he refuses to hurt anyone. Hawkeye, meanwhile, hasn’t lost his killer instincts, but has apparently lost his daughter, Ashley. In fact, the conversation he was with Logan on a bar about it is one of this book’s greatest moments (“I helped so many people leave this world, man. It was so damn cool to watch someone arrive.”). Hell, even the fucking SPIDER BUGGY is exploited effectively by Millar.

At the same time, Millar shows us what’s left of the USA – with dinosaurs from Savage Land roaming the country and a disturbingly modified version of Mount Rushmore – okay, Mount Rushmore being used like this certainly isn’t original, but when you’ve got Steve McNiven drawing for you, you really can’t miss the chance. And indeed, his art is absolutely gorgeous. Brilliantly inked by Dexter Vines and colored by Morry Hollowell, his usual contributors, it not only looks amazing, it also shows the action from elaborate angles – another proof of how talented McNiven is at drawing the human figure and environments. But it’s his shadowing that truly blew me away, especially in the panel where we see a flashback of Wolverine spitting blood (this book doesn’t shy away from violence, thankfully). The lettering by Cory Petit is well-placed and with clear caligraphy.

“Old Man Logan” is so far a compelling and powerful arc that explores Wolverine the man instead of Wolverine the animal. Millar continues to be one of the few writers who makes me read superheroes.

Back to Brooklyn #2

Story by Jimmy Palmiotti and Garth Ennis

Written by Garth Ennis

Art by Mihailo Vukelic

Lettering by Simon Bowland

In a nutshell: with only two issues so far, it’s already brilliant.

No matter what publisher he’s working for, no matter whether it’s a high-profile book or a low-profile book – Garth Ennis is always Garth Ennis. Even while he’s working on his excellent “The Boys” series, he doesn’t allow his quality standards to drop while handling this project idealized by Jimmy Palmiotti, which is considerably under the radar. And this is why he’s my favorite writer.

Managing to slip in his trademark black comedy without harming the overall drama of the story, Ennis develops his characters with charm. Despite being a killer with brutal methods to say the least (remember the bucket scene in the previous issue?), Bob Saetta admits that maybe he’s a monster, but his family isn’t and he’s trying to protect them. And now he has to protect his old ex-girlfriend as well, who broke up with him precisely because she hated what Bob had become. And there’s Vinnie Thermos, who’s called Thermos because — no, I won’t ruin it for you.

On the other side of the spectrum, we have Paul the Wall, Bob’s brother, who kidnapped his family. Despite his dumb look, Paul is dangerously sharp and ruthless, and he hires a guy by the name of Churchill – who proves just how effective he is in the last panel of this book. Churchill is reminiscent of Stein from Ennis’ “Pride and Joy”, which is far from being a bad thing.

But it’s the dialogue that truly makes the story shine. Contrary to Warren Ellis’ recent work, Ennis gives each character a manner of speaking and makes them sound natural. The excuse Vinnie Thermos tries to make to a bunch of guys who want him dead is absolutely priceless.

Ennis’s writing is brought to life by Mihailo Vukelic’s gorgeous art. Painting New York in opressing sepia tones, he ensures Ennis’ sense of humor never breaks the serious surface of the story (although Ennis is a master of avoiding that all by himself). The artist proves himself excellent with visual narrative and facial expressions, both handled with surprising subtlety – for example, Bob’s slight smile when his ex-girlfriend makes a comment on how Vinnie looks.

With efficient lettering by Simon Bowland, “Back to Brooklyn” is very compelling and looks great. It’s refreshing to see a down-to-Earth crime drama like this in comics instead of in a movie. There’s enough superheroes already.

The Walking Dead #54

Written by Robert Kirkman

Art by Charlie Adlard

Gray Tones by Cliff Rathburn

Lettering by Rus Wooton

In a nutshell: an intense episode that brings “The Walking Dead” back on track after a number of ridiculous coincidences.

The way Rick and Carl found the rest of their group in previous issues was really an example of a narrative trainwreck. They just, y’know, STUMBLED into them in the middle of a huge zombie-ridden land. But now that they’re back together, Robert Kirkman seems to be back on his game, by adding a number of new characters that are going to Washington D. C. – and one of them knows what caused the zombie infection. In fact, Kirkman subtly portrays how used Rick has gotten to this post-apocalyptic world when a character says “I know what caused this mess” and Rick replies, “Mess? What mess?”.

Intense from beggining to end, this issue has some of the best dialogue Kirkman has written in a long time – a great example being when someone explains how the zombies form herds. The characterization continues to be one of this book’s strong suits, and Rick’s refusal to make a single decision for the group after all that has happened is touching. So is what he says to Carl near the end of this issue.

Charlie Adlard’s art – hell, just insert everything I said from previous reviews right here. It’s still as excellent as ever. The same can be said of Cliff Rathburn’s gray tones and Rus Wooton’s lettering. I prefer not to waste your time making the same compliments to them as I usually do.

“The Walking Dead #54″ is a very good issue. I hope Kirkman keeps avoiding coincidences and focuses on his characters.

Comics Review – Crossed #1 and The Walking Dead #53

CROSSED #1

Written by Garth Ennis

Art by Jacen Burrows

Colors by Juanmar

Lettering by ?

In a nutshell: Garth Ennis doing his own version of a zombie story belongs to the Cannot Go Wrong category. Add Jacen Burrows and we’ve got a must-have.

By now, my infinite love for Garth Ennis’ work must be as surprising as Batman’s true identity. Even when his writings are below his usual standards, I still think it’s above the sea of shit consisting of most comic books. An example is “Ghost Rider: Trail of Tears”, which had a weak ending in comparison to the strong story that preceeded it – and I still enjoyed the hell out of it. It’s no exaggeration to say reading Garth Ennis is one of the greatest pleasures I have in my daily life.

So you can imagine the humungous orgasm I had with “Crossed #1″. Ennis’ version of zombies is certainly the scariest one I’ve seen in the genre so far. If you think “28 Days Later” and its zombies with the amazing skill of moving faster than a snail was spooky, wait until you read “Crossed”.

In fact, calling the villains of this book “zombies” is almost innacurate. These people aren’t hungry-for-brains undead. They are people capable of speaking, using their brain to its fullest and with all bodily functions in perfect order – only they are overwhelmed by the desire of doing the worst things they can think of: raping and killing in all ways possible. They’re humans at their worst. And this allows Ennis to be as grotesquely realistic as he wants to be. In this issue, he quickly establishes his story will evade the cliches of the genre when a character suggests salt is the monsters’ weakness and is soon proved wrong in one of the most shocking panels published in comics. Ennis doesn’t patronise his audience: not even kids are safe. In most survival horrors, they are, which is why these same survival horrors tend to be predictable. This is clearly something “Crossed” won’t be.

With a narration in off provided by the main character’s diary (in which once again Ennis proves his skills with prose), the story quickly establishes the world the characters are living in now. They’re not stereotypes by a long shot. Instead of being funny, the moment one of them suggests salt as a possible weapon is actually depressing, because it shows how desperate he is to find a way to turn the world back to what it used to be. There aren’t any comic relief characters, and the protagonist isn’t the leader of the group. So far, they are all simply human.

In complete harmony with Ennis’ script, Jacen Burrows’ art doesn’t hold back on anything. If you thought his “Blackgas” covers were extreme, they’re nothing compared at some of the panels seen in “Crossed”, and this is meant as a compliment. Fuck your sensitivities: if you don’t like blood, you’d be a moron if you bought this book – which practically screams “OH GOD STOMACH CHURNING GORE” in its covers. Knowing that, Burrows goes nuts with his art – without sacrificing his impeccable, subtle visual narrative and facial expressions in the process. Gorgeous work, as usual. As for the colors, they are efficient, no more than that. They could use more personality. The lettering is well-place and easy on the eye. I like the voice of the “Crossed” – we get a glimpse of it in the flashback scene.

“Crossed” is an original take on zombie horror. A grim, realistic tale that has already gotten hold of me two issues in (counting #0, of course). Ennis and Burrows, as always, fail to disappoint.

THE WALKING DEAD #43

Written by Robert Kirkman

Art by Charlie Adlard

Grey Tones by Cliff Rathburn

Lettering by Rus Wooton

In a nutshell: doesn’t explain the coincidences in the previous issue, but works well on its own.

Michonne, Glenn and cia. showing up all in the same issue was a lack of subtlety not typical of Kirkman’s work on this series, and this is what made me consider #52 a below-average issue of “The Walking Dead”. And while he returns to his strenghts in this issue – for the most part – those coincidences are never explained, and another one happens. This book has always been character-driven, and that’s always been its strongest trait – so why in the fuck is Kirkman tossing that out the window, I don’t know.

Let’s get the good stuff out of the way first: characterizations are still very good. I love the scene where Carl and Sophie see each other again, and Carl’s thoughts on her after that. It’s a moment when Kirkman re-establishes they’re just kids, even if one of them has shot zombies in the head. The conversations are good, with interesting dialogue and the return of some great characters – and an intriguing connection between Rick and Michonne.

BUT — come on, Kirkman, you’re better than that. Right AFTER Rick and Carl arrive, a new group of humans shows up? Why does the plot have to follow them around all the time? This is forced, and as the writer of a zombie series famous for its subtlety (at least for me), he should know that. So, unless they followed Rick (which could be revealed in the next issues), it’s still bothersome. I wouldn’t be as worried if the same kind of coincidence hadn’t happened in the previous issue – which kinda sounds like Kirkman’s making a habit of this.

But overall, good issue, with the ever-competent Charlie Adlard doing great artwork and efficient grey tones from Rathburn and lettering from Wooton. Let’s just hope Kirkman can drive this series in its new direction – established in this issue – without using coincidences to speed up the plot.

Comic Review – The Punisher #62, The Walking Dead #52, All-Star Superman #12 and oh dear God All Star Batman and Robin #10

Cut the half smile, Dave Johnson, and we’ve got a good cover here.

The Punisher #62

Written by Gregg Hurwitz

Art by Laurence Campbell

Colors by Lee Loughridge

In a nutshell: a vast improvement over the previous issue. The plot becomes more interesting and Hurwitz proves he’s got his own vision of the Punisher, and it’s a promising one.

I have to say I had little hope this arc would improve after its weak debut, but I couldn’t be happier to see that I was wrong. What at first seemed like a run-of-the-mill storyline reveals itself to be deeper and more interesting, something The Punisher would be happy to work on. Now that Frank Castle is in the small border city of Tierra Rota, in Mexico, he tries to help the locals find out who are the people that are kidnapping women and dumping them days later with their backs stitched and eyes removed, and why.

Hurwitz’s narrative is much better, fast-paced but not too much. His version of Frank Castle differs from Ennis’ on some points: Hurwitz’s Castle is constantly seeing his family and he’s got a very dry sense of humor. He’s psychologically less balanced then Ennis’ version, which more or less justifies his impulsiveness on the final pages of this issue. But unlike Matt Fraction, Hurwitz doesn’t push it, keeping his Punisher believable and intriguing. Also, he preserves two things from Ennis’ run: Castle’s brutality and the way he doesn’t back away from sex – which he sees as a relief from his constant state of anger.

The dialogue is also good, with some dry moments of humor – like a character’s response when Castle asks him if he has any medical expertise. Hurwitz also cleverly uses the dialogue to explain the plot without any obvious exposition – and the kidnappers’ methods are truly terrifying. There’s also a drug addict who steals every scene he’s in and we’re introduced to two of the villains – neither of them very remarkable or original, but they don’t appear much so it’s early to judge.

Laurence Campbell’s art is a mix of Daniel Zezelj and Sean Phillips – without the mediocrity and absurd lack of detail of the former but also without the good visual narrative of the latter. Some pages had to be read twice so I could truly understand what was going on – but Campbell nails some moments, like the final page. He just needs to make what’s going on clearer, and adding more detail to his art would be a good start. Lee Loughridge’s colors convey the mood very well and the tones he uses are very-well chosen. And Cory Petit’s lettering, as usual, gives no reason at all for complaints. Dave Johnson’s cover is way better than the previous, but the Punisher’s slight smile holds it back from true greatness.

All in all, a vast improvement. I’m not expecting Ennis-quality from this new run on The Punisher – that would be unfair with the new talent on board. If they do their best to give their readers good stories, I’ll be happy – and this one is on the right path for now.

GUESS WHO’S BACK

The Walking Dead #52

Written by Robert Kirkman

Art by Charlie Adlard

Grey Tones by Cliff Rathburn

In a nutshell: far from the brilliance of the previous issue and a quick read, but still holds as a great character-driven narrative despite a convenient deus ex machina and an unlikely cliffhanger.

It’s hard to describe the story of this issue – as it is with all issues of this series – because the story moves on depending on its characters. So anything I say could be a spoiler.

Kirkman is revealing an annoying tendency for unecessary splash pages that take up precious space from the story and make it a quicker read than it should be. And their epicness only make the moments they portray more awkward: one of them is a deus ex machina in which a character is brought back with an exaggerated “bang” – and the others – a double splash page followed by a splash page (!) – show two characters returning as well. So three characters find Rick and Carl in the middle of nowhere in the same issue. Talk about fucking coincidence. This lack of subtlety is not usual of Kirkman, considering it’s exactly how humane the characters are carefully portrayed as that makes them so compelling. Fortunately, the relationship between Carl and Rick continues to be well-developed, including a moment when he whispers something into Rick’s ear.

Charlie Adlard’s art is still excellent, with good use of shadows and efficient visual narrative. Adlard can work both with dialogue-driven scenes and action, with special mention for the splash pages, which are at least eye-candy. Cliff Rathburn’s grey tones are well-placed and make Adlard’s already great art even clearer, as usual.

A quick issue in which too many coincidences happen, but still a good read. Here’s hoping Kirkman can spin something out of this.

Damn good cover, Frank.

All-Star Superman #12

Written by Grant Morrison

Art by Frank Quitely

Inking and Colors by Jamie Grant

In a nutshell: This is the Superman I like reading. This is the Morrison I like reading.

I’m seeing this series being compared to Watchmen already. Of course, it had to be IGN doing the comparison, but still, what the fuck? Yes, “All-Star Superman” is a great homage to the silver-age of Superman comics. Yes, it’s compelling and fun. Yes, it’s got a huge heart. No, it doesn’t have the sheer brilliance and complex plot of “Watchmen”, so when you are done fondling Morrison’s balls like you always do, IGN reviewers, I’ll take you guys seriously.

Aniway. Beneath all the overconfidence and self-indulgence that ruins most of what Morrison writes, there is true talent. All Morrison needs to do is stop with his annoying tendency for wacky plots and ridiculous concepts (check out the zur-ehn-aar thing in his Batman run – actually, don’t). Fortunately, that tendency suits this series perfectly. In this final chapter, Superman and Luthor have a physical and mind duel as the sun slowly starts fading.

What I like about Grant Morrison’s Superman is that, unlike Frank Miller’s Superman, Kal-El is actually intelligent and a kind of God. He uses his powers to create amazing things, and Morrison’s imagination is truly vast for the things Superman comes up with. And since I mentioned Frank Miller, I’d like to tell him to go fuck himself – just didn’t want to miss the opportunity, and I’ll expand on that on the next review.

Frank Quitely’s art is beautiful, with stunning visual narrative and excellent facial expressions as always. Luthor’s face when he looks down upon a fallen Clark Kent (on the page with the title) is truly perfect. Their entire fight is masterfully illustrated by Quitely. And the last page in which Kal-El appears is magnificent, thanks also to Jamie Grant’s brilliant coloring. His colorful style was hugely important to make “All-Star Superman” the great comic it was.

This is the “Superman” I like reading. This is the Morrison I like reading. If only he could suit his writing style to every specific project he does, I’d be one of his many fans. But since everything else he’s doing right now I either hate (Batman) or am not impressed with (Final Crisis), I don’t consider him a good writer just yet. But giving credit where credit is due – “All-Star Superman” was a hell of a fun comic with a huge damn heart.

Batman: Grrrrrrrrrrr.

Robin: Hehehehe

Subtlety: ?

All-Star-Goddamn-Batman-and-Fucking Robin #10

Written by goddamn Frank Miller

Art by fucking Jim Lee

Colors by damn Alex Sinclair

In a nutshell: goddamn awful.

ABRIDGED SCRIPT FOR ALL-STAR BATMAN AND ROBIN #10

BY ANDRE NAVARRO FRANK MILLER

OPEN with a BIG DAMN SPLASH PAGE of JAMES GORDON lighting a cigarette with Gotham’s beautiful goddamn skyline as background. He’s… somewhere next to the sea and where Batman can be standing under with Robin.

CAPTION: Captain James Gordon.

CAPTION: He’s got a mustache.

CAPTION: He smokes a cigar.

CAPTION: He’s goddamn COOL.

GORDON: I am now going to talk about completely unrelated subjects to the vigilante standing right below me on this dock (NOTE: ah yes, Jim, a dock would be good!) instead of simply delivering the note I’m supposed to be delivering to him – as if he’s slightly interested in my monologue or as if I’m stupid enough to think he is. (endless stream of words, one in three are “damn”) There. Now I’ll say this note is not worth anybody’s time despite having just wasted a lot of it blabbering.

GORDON drops the note and walks away.

BIG PANEL. Now I mean BIG… no, TWO big panels! Squeeze the third in somewhere. BATMAN has the note on his hand (see how cleverly he communicates with Gordon, Jim?). Also, he’s grimacing. Robin is smiling to himself, despite having lost his family days ago. He’s in the old Robin uniform – the one with no pants and that is totally AWESOME, it goes so well with Batman’s grim costume.

BATMAN (grimacing HARD): You’re right, cop. Not worth your time. Not worth a damn to ani –

ROBIN: He’s gone, who are you talking to?

BATMAN (grimacing HARDER): Shut up.

BATMAN and ROBIN hop around the city, subways and etc. on REALLY BIG GODDAMN PANELS. They find CATWOMAN all fucked-up with her costume ripped off and all bloody. But still SEXY.

Now, BATGIRL! Note to letterer: I want all the excessive amount of swearwords I’ll use for this scene being censored in black. I think it’s VERY funny.

BATGIRL rides a skate and beats the shit out of a bunch of bad guys.

BATGIRL: I’m the fucking Batgirl!

(note from Andre: I’m serious. She actually says that in the book.)

She notices she left the injured bad guys to the mercy of a furious crowd, so she turns back to try and convince everyone to give peace a chance. A guy hits her in the jaw while pronouncing several curses. A cop arrives and puts handcuffs on her. Of course, an actual cop would worry about stopping the angry mob from killing the bad guys FIRST, but I’ve wasted too many pages with splashes already, so no time for that.

Now, BLACK CANARY. NOTHING AT ALL will happen at this sequence, Jim, it’s just her blabbering in captions about her — well, about something and using very Irish terms like “my own sweet self” and “damn”. I’ll give you plenty of excuses to draw her tits in detail.

BLACK CANARY: Blahblahblahblah my own sweet damn self blahblahblahblah

Back to GORDON. He’s in the hospital, because his wife crashed her car. The doctor is telling him how bad she is.

DOCTOR: Well, captain, she broke her ribs, one of them has punctured a lung, her face is smashed, one eye is gone, she’s got seven car parts stuck all over her body, but this is a Frank Miller comic so she should be okay in three weeks tops.

MERKEL: Captain! Your daughter has been arrested!

GORDON and BARBARA in some room. BIG panel.

CAPTION (GORDON): I want to hit her. But a guy already came close to breaking her jaw today. I’m not even mad at her because she’s being so damn BRAVE about the whole thing. “The whole thing” being dressing up in tights and punching adults while riding a skate, but still.

BARBARA: (more curses to be censored because that joke is still VERY FUNNY)

GORDON: That was wrong, Barbara.

BARBARA: Dad, why don’t you call the woman you cheated on my mom with? I’m sure that’ll help you stay sane.

GORDON on a room talking on a phone. SPLASH PAGE.

CAPTION: I have no idea how my little angel knows about this woman. Maybe I should have asked her BEFORE I came here to call her, but aniway.

TO BE GODDAMN CONTINUED…

Ah yes: fuck you, Frank Miller. Just… fuck you.